Why pompoir?
Pompoir isn't just for the "pleasure of men"- it can transform your relationship with your own body and help us reframe the conversation around vaginas and penetrative sex
I think everyone with a vagina has the right to know the full extent of what it’s capable of. Before, I used to think of the vagina as a “passive” organ that only existed to be “penetrated.” Most sex advice you can find in magazines or online (even from “sex-positive” sources) focuses on things you can do to a vagina, not things a vagina can do.
Most education around vaginas focuses on the vagina as a reproductive organ, rather than a sexual organ. You may have learned to label the vagina on a diagram in biology or sex ed, but not much else.
Unfortunately, most resources I found about these techniques (mostly on the internet) were vague, not in English, and/or required some deep digging to find. I wanted to create an easier way for people to learn all this info. My platform is a semi-organized compilation of all the information I’ve found through articles, blog posts, books, anatomy diagrams, medical research, obscure Reddit threads, and my own personal experience. This is far from a complete guide, but I’ll keep adding to it as I learn more. Also, this is not medical advice— please consult a professional if you’re experiencing pain or difficulty with any of this!
Personally, learning these techniques completely changed how I experience penetrative sex. Before, I always thought of penetration as a “supplement” to clitoral stimulation, not something that could ever get me off on my own. The increase in sensation and control these techniques gave me proved me wrong. The intensity of sensation I felt during penetrative sex increased drastically. My experience with penetration is no longer dependent on my partner’s “skill level” or “size” (which I know can be a concern especially for cis straight women). I’m now able to put myself in full control of my own pleasure by using my muscles to set the rhythm andstimulate different areas of my vagina. I think David & Ellen Ramsdale said it best in their book Sexual Energy and Ecstasy: “Dependence on male thrusting alone to reach the heights of erotic glory is like trying to win a foot race on one leg."
In the few resources that do exist, these techniques are mostly talked about as an act of cis-hetero sex a woman can do to “please her man.” It’s true that these techniques do feel incredibly good on a penis, and the reactions they elicit are always fun to watch. 😏 But the newfound control and sensation you have over your vagina will completely transform your experience, regardless of whether or not a penis is involved in your sexual encounter. That being said, I’ll try my best to keep the language in my content as inclusive as possible. I’m making this content for all vagina-owners, regardless of gender or sexuality.
Please don’t try and learn to do this to please a partner, learn it for yourself. I promise it’s worth it. ♥️